So here’s the long and short of it.

In the 50’s Fiat was producing a car called the 500. And then in 2007, just like VW did with the Beetle, they brought it back, hoping that its pedigree, heritage and history would win it new buyers in the modern market.

But unlike the VW Beetle, the 2007 Fiat wasn’t an absolute bore of a car. It did have a little something to it. And so, it started to sell.

However, no self-respecting man would be seen dead in one. There was just something tame and mundane about the tiny hatch. Ladies, you were having all the fun. And we guys didn’t like that very much.

Well someone at Fiat whispered this problem into the ear of one of the speed dragons over at master tuners Abarth, and the Fiat 500 Abarth was born.

Anything with a Scorpion badge on it is fine for any person to drive. In fact, it immediately gives you street cred and petrol head respect that you never thought you could own. You could have spent your formative years driving a Ford Fiesta, but one day in an Abarth, and you’re a seasoned racer.

The 500 Abarth took the original 500’s meager engine up to a massive 100kw in an incredibly short-wheel based car with a steering wheel that sat on top of the front wheels and a back end that arrived before you set off. This was surely Fiat 500 heaven.

“Surely not!” said Abarth. And they strapped on their Essesse kit.

[tweetherder]The Essesse kit is a special something that Abarth hold back for the one day that one of the soon-to-be fired mechanics walks in to the Abarth spanner shop and says: “That’s a good enough job boys. Let’s got get a beer!”[/tweetherder]

What the Essesse kit brings to the Abarth 500 can be summed up in one word: more. More kilowatts, more newton-meters and more speed. Output is pumped up to 118kw and torque reaches 230Nm. You’ll be going the top speed of 211km/h in the blink of an eye, and you’ll be feeling it as everything seems to come at you quicker when you’re sitting that far forward in a car.

0-100 is minced in just 7.4 seconds. How’s that for fast?

The Essesse kit is delivered in a specially designed wooden crate that’s yours to keep once your official Abarth mechanic has kitted out your car. In the box you’ll also get perforated front and rear disc brakes, a special air filter powered by BMC, four tire pressure sensors, high-performing tires and 17” alloy wheels in white or titanium.

Admittedly the inside of the car isn’t the most impressive, but you are after all driving an entry-segment hatch with amphetamines running through the petrol pump. I had a lot of trouble getting the Bluetooth to sync for example and eventually gave up.

You only get two doors and two tiny seats in the back. And of course you’ll need to put up with ignorant robot racers at the lights who don’t know what a Scorpion badge means and think you’re a ponce on his way to a gay-pride parade. Well only until the green light at which time you’ll leave “breker-from-Boksburg” at the white line thinking twice about what he thought he knew about Fiats.

I have to give a special mention to the Essesse’s operatic engine noise. It’s not even like you have to get it up to speed before it starts humming you a rock ballad. You can basically get the first verse out while sitting in traffic. Never have I driven a car where I used the radio less. I think it’s the surprise that such an enjoyable sound can come out of something so small.

In fact, if it wasn’t for the car sounding so good, I would compare the [tweetherder]Fiat 500 Abarth to a cheeky, nipping Chihuahua with small-pup syndrome, who not only wants the big bone, but is on his way over the fence to take it out of the mouth of the Rottweiler next door. And he’ll probably get it too.[/tweetherder]

Get it: www.abarthcars.co.za
For:
Fiat 500 – R230 000
Essesse kit – R37 000